im back...

Quick update....

terasa lama sangat dah tak update blog nie......

2 bln nie terlalu banyak benda yang berlaku.....dan yang paling mengesan kan....cik reena kehilangan abang tersayang buat selama-lamanya....4/6/2010 pada tarikh ini dia pergi meningal kan kami buat selama-lamanya.....Perasaan??? tak dpt d ungkapkan dengan kata2x....but my mom....very2x strong....takde seorang ibu pun d dunia ini terfikir yang anak di kandung kan selama 9 bulan pergi menyambut seruan illahi mendahului nya....but my mum...telah kehilang 2 anak, my sister (1990) dan terbaru abang pula menyusul.......emmmmmm.

lagi....my master class dah bermula....ya kesibukkan melanda...my shawl blog...pun dah berkurun tak update...sebenar nya banyak shawl yang dah habis tapi status masih available stated di situ....weekend nie akan ada koleksi terbaru di
http://kasihshawl.blogspot.com

readmore »»

Fuhhhh....

Salam semua,

Mula2x sekali cik Reena, nak mintak maaf sebab sejak akhir2x banyak order, pertanyaan, tracking no request...banyak yg kita tak sempat nak reply...kalau reply pun agak lambat...maaf sangat2x...order sejak 29/04~03/05, pun baru jap tadi reply, tu pun utk pelangan2x yang ter'order' shawl yang dah tak ada stock (salah saya ok..coz status still "available" tapi sbnryne shawl tu dah abis) cik reena tak reply...bukan apa, tk sempat lagi..untuk pertanyaan pun sama...malam nanti ya...semua email nie cik reena akan reply...sorry ye, betul2x tak sempat....weekn yang lepas cik reena balik kampung + tak berapa sihat...ada jugak bukak email...tapi stok tak bole nak check sbb kat kampung masa tu....yang stock kat blog banyak sangat yang dah abis sebenarnya, walaupunn status masih "available" (T_T)

Tapiiiiii...janjiku utk pelangan2x kasih shawl yang di hargai...mula dari esok (4/05)semua operasi di kasih shawl akan berjalan seperti biasa...order akan di reply secepat yang mungkin, tracking no akan cik reena email sejurus selepas pos ye....PALING PENTING...blog esok akan di update...mana yang dah tak available akan di "REMOVE" kan dari blog...tapi proses ini mengambil masa...2~3 hari ye...next week baru ada stock baru masuk...so kesempatan ini KASIH SHAWL INGIN MENGUCAPKAN TERIMA KASIH YANG TIDAK TERHINGGA KEPADA PELANGAN2X KASIH SHAWL YANG TANPA JEMU MENYOKONG KASIH SHAWL SEJAK SETAHUN BEROPERASI....(^_~,,)

Ok, saja nak update kat sini, bermula dari khamis lepas hidup cik reena sangat kelam kabut, "OTROMAN GABAN" pun respect betapa gabannya hidupku...hehe, Final dah abis khamis lepas, tapi thesis correction kena buat, panel pulak nak "proof reading" after correction, baru pagi nie collect dari panel...wah lega...copy itu bersih tanpa cela sedikit pun. Pagi nie lambat masuk office...tengahari tadi pulak kena keluar untuk hantar final softcopy ke fakulti...maknanya.. lepas ni i'm freeee...mungkin ramai juga yang bertanya....cik reena pergi kerja ke buat keje sendiri???...hehe...mmg betul ku berkerja...ya ku berada di office...ya boss ku jugak ada...tapi ku abaikan kewujudan nya....ku bukak thesis di atas meja, apalagi ku buat keje ku sendiri, bagaikan dunia ini ahkuuuuu yang punyaaaa...hehe....boss ku...haha...inyaallah, akan ku buat special entry untuk nye nanti, bukan utk membodek...tapi ya betul, kalau di takdirkan ku benti keje satu hari nanti....tak mungkin aku akan dapat lagi boss yg lebih baik dari itu...hehe. Tapi jangan salah sangka ye kawan2x...hehe..."KERJA OFIS KU SENTIASA DI DULU KAN" bermakna bila semua kerja office settle, baru buat keje sedirik ye....(^_~,,)

Khamis lepas, siap je print thesis kat CC kul 9pm...terus ke bangi, teman en. suami amik adik di di UKM bangi, jangan tanya nape ku nyibuk nak ikut, tapi en. suami yang ajak, boring katanya sebab dari rumah ku ke bangi sangat jauh...so kena lah ikut tak baik melawan cakap suami....hahahahaha...(hello...cik reena, jangan ngarut ok!!) sampai rumah dekat pukul 12pm, tapi ada benda lagi yang tak settle...yessss..kena packing order customers...hari jummaat mesti pos kalau tak...maknanya isnin baru bleh pos...dengan kudrat yang ada...ku packing jugak...baru hari nie bila check balik, tau 4 orang customer pulak tercicir...emmm maaf sangat2x ye...takpe...esok cik reena confirm pos...bukti gambarku bertungkus lumus menyiapkan order customer...gambar nie di ambil kul 2am ye (~_~,,)...utk 4 customer lagi...maaf ye dari kasih shawl...akan ada free gift tuk anda...harap lepas nie tak serik berurusan dengan kasih shawl....atau sesiapa lagi yang dah buat bayaran, tapi tak dapat shawl lagi, sila email cik reena secepat yang mungkin, serta kan sekali bukti pembayaran ye + bank mana & tarikh. Nanti cik reena check, kalau betul belum pos, jangan risau, barang anda akan di pos secepat yang mungkin...(^_^,,)

readmore »»

Thesis

Today kena concentrate dengan thesis correction...so Cik Reena akan sangat bz ok...

Email Order belum reply...keje banyak....

Next week ada paper....doa kan ye..:)

So activiti FB & Blogging akan di kurang kan ye buat sementara ini...

Buat Customer yang ada buat order....
Maaf sangat2x...sebab lambat reply ur order...cik reena akan cuba settlekan semua email hari ini k....tadi baru bukak email...banyak nya...harap bersabar ye :)

readmore »»

CHILD

Tadi Cik Reena terbaca entry nie dari one of my favorite blog. Sungguh sedih...sampai menitis air mata...

Kita sedekahkan al-fatihah untuk Dzafri...

Losing a child is every parents nightmare.


Never across in my mind that one day my child will die before me.

NEVER.

And it happens to me, in split second, he left me forever. Without any warning, without saying goodbye and never in my mind, it would be this way.

I love him so much.

I miss him so much.

Only ALLAH knows how I feel now, but I must be redha. Ini ketentuan Allah. No one can stop it. NO ONE. Sudah tertulis, ajal Dzafri sudah tiba pada 20hb Mac 2010, pukul 8.50pm. Semuanya sudah tertulis.

My second son, DZAFRI HISYAM BIN KHAIRULANWAR, passed away peacefully on 20 March 2010 at 8.50pm, at ICU/NICU Ampang Puteri and he was 15 months old (born on 22 September 2008).

He was first diagnosed with dengue (the diagnosed and confirmation of the dengue was made by our regular pediatrician at Wangsa Maju) and later transferred to Ampang Puteri on 20 March 2010 (Saturday) because Dzafri had trouble breathing and the first hospital doesnt have the proper equipment.

The minute we arrived at Ampang Puteri by ambulance, the consultant pediatrician at the ICU/NICU ward have said this to me, "Your baby is too sick. What happened? I cannot promise you anything...."

WHAT?

What?????? Said that again????

But still in my head, I thought to myself that this doctor is wrong. Ya, me, without any medical background, wants to tell to this experience doctor that he is wrong. And he continue, "I think this is not dengue, this is something else. He is too pale. Do he have talasemia?" I quickly replied to him, "No. What do you mean by something else. The doctor (referring to the earlier pediatrician) told me it was dengue." "Never mind. I will do the test first." He replied.

I kept quiet to myself, not saying anything and just let the doctor and his nurses doing their job. I was with Dzafri in that ICU room, waiting for my husband and Dzarif as I arrived earlier with the ambulance. Still in shock of what the doctor told me, but I still remaining calm. Tapi dalam hati, Ya Allah, Tuhan saja tahu. I just want to scream, yell, cry ... and all I want to do at that time is Dzafri to be ok and we can all go home.

Dzafri was put on oxygen, drip, wayar sana sini-at his chest, hand, his little feet .... He starts to merengek, maybe because tak selesa dgn wayar-wayar yang banyak tu. He didnt cried, but he wants me to hold him tight. Tapi macam mana nak dukung him with all the wayar, dari hidung, lengan, tgn, kaki semuanya ada. I tried to make him comfortable as I could, but I know, he's scared. Me too.

After 1/2 hour in the ward, Dzafri tertidur and I quickly make my way to the registration counter as hubby is stuck in the traffic jammed. habis urusan di kaunter tu, I quickly ran back to the ward and there, the doctor is waiting for me to show Dzafri chest Xray.

"Its pneumonia. Its getting worst. What actually the doctor told you?"

I explained to him the whole thing, from the first day Dzafri had his demam which is on Monday night, we went to see his pediatrician on Wednesday and was admitted on Friday because the doctor suspected dengue or viral fever, and which the blood test done on Friday and Saturday with the platlet count drop to 28, the pediatrician confirmed it was dengue but, Dzafri had trouble breathing since Wednesday and the pediatrician told me its only phlegm and something to do with Croup bacteria/virus.

"No. This is nothing to do with dengue or viral fever. Its pneumonia and his chest Xray shows that his right lung is filled with pus ? (nanah) and he need to be operate immediately".

I was nearly fainted.

My hubby was outside at the visitor lounge, waiting with Dzarif, because kid under 12 are not allowed to be in the ICU ward and we had nobody to look after him. I agreed with the operation thing and quickly ran to my husband, asked him to see the doctor and explained to him once more. Just before that, another doctor came into the room. The nurse introduced him as the Pakar Bedah Paru-paru. He was holding the chest xray and was saying something to the first doctor. Then, he explained to me. This time, his words really make me want to cry.

"Its pneumonia but I ternampak satu benda asing dalam paru-paru dia ni. I rasa ada ketumbuhan. Growth."

"Growth?"

"Tumor"

YA ALLAH!!!

At that time, I am really confused. Sad. The reason the whole transfer thing from the previous hospital to Ampang Puteri is because he has trouble breathing and the doctor there confirmed that it was dengue.

How can from dengue be a tumor?

He never sick before. Only demam, selsema like the rest of other kids. Bagi ubat, dia baik. Tidak pernah pun dia terbaring lama, kesakitan. Never. He never get sick before. I really dont understand.

"Your doctor tak pernah instruct for Xray?" Asked the surgeon again.

"No. And I pun tak pernah terfikir nak hantar dia for Xray coz dia tak pernah sakit".

"Its not your fault. The doctor should advise you. We need to sent him for scan. Then baru I betul-betul boleh confirm whether its tumor or something else. But from my experience, its tumor and maybe dah lama kat sini, maybe since birth. Pneumonia is because of the tumor. I cuma boleh tahu the size, berapa lama and what kind of tumor after the scan. Then baru I boleh buat surgery."

Again, I just kept quiet, trying very hard to understand all this. Dzafri starts merengek balik, and this time, I started to cry. I asked the doctor to discuss it with my husband. I went to get him, again, I have to wait with Dzarif at the visitor lounge. Only few minutes inside the ward, he came to get me, saying that Dzafri is crying and looking for me.

I quickly ran to get him, seeing that the nurses try to pujuk him but he's still crying and mengamuk rimas because of the wayar. The nurses prepared him to sleep, as before can get into the scan, he must sleep.

With the help of the nurses, I tried to give him the ubat tidur. Its a sweet syrup, but my poor boy refused to take it. Its not like normal Dzafri who loved to eat, drink, even ubat. Since Wednesday, his selera makan kurang and starts on Friday, he refused to drink, eat and even takes his milk. Its so sad bila mengenangkan, yang dia memang suka makan, but dia akhir hayat dia, he cant eat.... maybe because sakit yang ditanggung .... I dont know. I really dont. Sampai sekarang, everytime I ate, I must remember him, because he is my partner when makan time. He will walk towards me or starts mumbling when he saw his plate or my plate or any foods in my hand.......

Even though the portion of the ubat given to him suitable for his age and weight, he still cant sleep. He start merengek again, pulling all the wayar, tried to sit on the bed and he looked at me with his sad eyes, asking me to hold him. The nurses help me with the wayar, and I hold him tight, tried to put him to sleep. Because if he cant sleep, they cant put him into the scan machine. Still, he cant sleep after holding him for almost 15 minutes. The nurse put him to IV, with hope that he will sleep, but no .... He merengek lagi kuat, pulling all the wayar, pusing sana sini, wants me to hold him ..... I tried to calm him down, pujuk dia, berzikir, and looks like he wants to sleep .... but I was wrong.

It was 8.35pm.

He starts to tersentak-sentak, like kena fit. I thought its fit because dia pernah kena fit on 4 November 2009 and 1 February 2010. I yelled to the nurse, saying that dia kena fit, but the nurse reply to me ....

"Ni bukan fit kak"

Before she could finish her sentence, she quickly called out all of the nurses in the ICU/NICU ward and the doctors. Just a split second, there is about 7, 8 nurses in the room and one of them had asked me to leave the room. That minute I know something terrible happened.

I was crying , more into menjerit, meraung, asking the nurses what's going on. 2 of them tried to calm me down, asked me to sit on the chair as I nearly collapsed. I tak sedar, my husband were there with Dzarif. I couldnt say anthing, only sat there and cried. Dzarif come to me and hug me, saying to me not to cry. I even cry loud, saying that I am sad because adik sick.

My husband were asking me what had happened as he spent most of the time at the visitor lounge because he cant be with Dzafri in the ward because need to take care Dzarif. I told him what had happened. Dia terkejut, quickly berdoa for Dzafri and asked me to do the same.

Then, the doctor came and see my husband.

"I cannot promise you anything. I think there's no hope, but I will try my best."

My husband can only said, Ya Allah.

I cried.

And only after 2 minutes, the doctor came to us again.

I cant barely hear what he's saying but my husband came to me.

Hug me and kiss me.

"Dzafri dah tak ada, yang. Ya Allah."

And it was 8.50pm.

I still sit on the chair, crying like I never cried before.

Screaming.

My husband went into the room. I was still outside, this time I was sitting on the floor, making calls to my family and friends.

I cant walked to the room. I have no strength to do that. I just cant. I couldnt face this. My son is gone.

I am so sad. I could not explained more. No words can described it.

It felt like my chest just being stabbed.

Ya Allah. Beratnya dugaan yang Kau berikan kali ini.

After I have called my friends, Maria and Zul, called my aunties, my brother. Then I called my mom. The minute I told her that Dzafri had passed away, my dad pengsan. Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku. Berilah aku kekuatan. Then I called my mom again to make sure that she and my dad are ok. Luckily, my aunty just stayed near there and a cousin had offered to drive my parent from Kluang, Johor to KL that night.

Then, I slowly walked to Dzafri room.

There he was, lying on the bed.

I cant hear his voice again.

No 'mama' to greet me.

No chicky smile to welcome me.

No bye bye hand from him.

He just lying there.

He's gone. Forever.

I held him tight. Crying, screaming his name. Saying No. I dont why, but I said "No, Dzafri. No."

I dont know how long i cried, screaming his name.

Then, I sat. I was tired.

I asked the nurses, "Betul ke dik dia dah tak ada".

The nurse looked at me, "Betul kak. Dia dah tak ada."

I repeatedly asked her the same question. And she reply me with the same answer.

My Dzafri is no longer with me.

I miss him. Today (1 April 2010) is the 12th day since he passed away.

But I can still hear his voice.

I can still hear his cries.

I can still remember his laughter.

I can still smells him.

And I still remember his smile.


Ya Allah, aku redha dgn ketentuanMu. Berilah aku semangat dan kekuatan dalam menempuh dugaan Mu yang besar dan berat ini, Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya, Kau Maha Pengasih, Maha Pengampun. Segala-gala yang terjadi adalah kehendak mu Ya Allah dan aku sebagai hambaMu, redha dengan segalanya. Tempatkanlah Dzafri di sisi M,u di kalangan orang beriman, di syurga Mu. Kau temukanlah kami bersamanya di syurga Mu, Ya Allah. - Amin.



Dzafri,

Mummy love you so much. I am going to miss you forever. Not only me, ayah, abang, totok, grandma, uncle adik, auntie mek, and all of us will missing you dearly. I love you dear. No words can described how much I miss you right now. I love you dear. I have to let you go. But I'm going to miss you forever and my love will never fade. You are my only DZAFRI.


Al Fatihah

readmore »»

TUNAI....Jln

Kejadian berlaku Sabtu lepas di kesas highway ketika nak bayar tol dalam kereta...

Syafiq : Mom, TUNAI (sila baca sebagai TUNAL ok)apa Mom?

Cik Reena: Mana (sambil pandang sekeliling..dan telihat sign di atas lorong tunai)...oo tu tunai lah abang. Nape abang baca tunal?

Syafiq: T.U.N.A.l...kan bunyi dia tunal...yang belakang tu kan L kecik...

Cik Reena: Bukan lah tu I besar lah (untuk sapa yang perasan spelling tunai tu menggunakan "l" seakan-akan huruf L kecik)

syafiq: Tapi cikgu ajar, kalau I besar ada kaki dia, I kecik ada titik kat atas...tapi yang tu kan L kecik (cam nie "l" maksudnya)...

Cik Reena: (Alamak...camne nak jawab ye..)...ooo kadang2x mmg macam tu, abang kena tengok makna dia jugak...tunal tu ada makna ke? mana ada kan...(alamak betul ke aku explain ni...(^_^"))

Syafiq: Oooo ok..

Kejadian kedua, ketika nak keluar breakfast hari Ahad....Syafiq: (tengah baca sesuatu...tiba bunyi dia gini) Jin sentosa, jin kebun?

Cik Reena: ( Dalam hati...apakah yang anak ku baca ini jin segala....oh takpe mungkin dia nak menghayati buku yang aku baru beli utk dia tu, cite hantu jugak...biarkan, nanti kang terjerit-jerit pulak)

Dalam perjalanan balik...simpang masuk ke rumah

Syafiq: Jin Sanggul 6

Cik Reena: Abang baca apa nie? (bertanya dalam keadaan yang sangat pelik)

Syafiq: Tu (sambil menunjuk ke arah sign jalan ke rumah ku)

Cik Reena: Mana ada jin bang...kan tu jalan...singkatan dia "Jln"

Syafiq: kan mommy cakap aritu "l" tu kan i besar...

Cik Reena:.....%^^*^&^&%* (sambil menarik nafas panjang)

readmore »»

Facebook

Sorry kawan2x pagi2x dah tunjuk gambar ye...(~_~,,), sebenarnya apa yang reena nak tunjuk ialah shawl yang reena pakai tu....cantik tak???? kalau nak shawl camtu, ada love2x dengan tulisan "i am gorgeous"...jangan lupa visit blog reena esok ye...ingat nak update hari nie tapi tak sempat...pagi nie kelam kabut ckit...sebab awal2x pagi dah ada appoinment breakfast...so ke cepat sampai office nanti kelambatan...

Ok berbalik kepada tajuk kita "Facebook" Semalam cik reena dah created Personal Akaun untuk Facebook...ketinggalan nya aku...sebab selama ini dok sibuk dengan my online bisnes...tak tau semalam tergerak hati pulak nak create utk my personal...so sesapa yang kenal Cik Reena...boleh lah add kita ye..search Maureena Jurliel...insyaallah nanti kita approve cepat2x.

Cite pasal facebook ini agak kelakar ok....sebelum ada personal akaun nie reena mmg ada akaun tapi atas nama kasih shawl boutique....ok2x reena mmg mengaku yang diri ini buta IT...since business online ramai customer tanye..."Kak reena ada facebook tak? nanti senang kita nak tau akak punye updated". Masa tu reena just jawab tak ada...tapi bila asyik di hujani pertanyaan itu...maka reena telah mecuba sedaya upaya untuk creat akaun facebook kasih shawl boutique....segala peluh jantan semua keluar (walauuuuupunnnn bagi mereka2x facebook nie cam makan kacang je...)...maka terciptalah / wujud kasih shawl on facebook...fungsinya masa tu akak masih blur lagi...tapi dok dapat kat email kasih shawl, friend request, facebook weekly update...oh apakah ini...aku tak paham....dan juga baru 2 bulan lepas kasih shawl created fan box...alhamdulillah dalam dok tak tau & blur, sekarang kasih shawl ada dekat 300 fans (mungkin bagi orang lain jumlah ini tersangatlah sedikit)....tapi bagi reena ini satu pencapaian yang membangga kan (ewah....kah..kah...)...tapi jangan tanya akak ok cam mana nak jadi fan lah apa lah...sebab jawapan nya akak tak tau...ha...ha...


Semalam sejarah berulang lagi bila cik reena kita....created personal akaun...Maureena Jurliel...bila dah siap created...kita telah search kawan lama kita "Lucy Amin"...wah...cik reena sungguh gembira...sepantas kilat kita add kawan kita nie...dan selepas itu...reena ternampak sangatlah ramai kawan2x lama ku di facebook...oh...airmata ku hendak menitis (mood jiwang...) teringat zaman persekolahan hampir 15 tahun...wah sedih....then i said hye to:

Shirley
liza
Dennie
Omar
Paling best...Hii King Kui pun ada....wah apa khabar mu???
Tak lupa...kawan ku yang comel ini "Corina Naing"

Kawan2x ku apa khabar semua.....

Lagi satu yang amat membanggakan my ex GM...still ingat kat reena...thanks sebab sudi add reena...

Somebody tagged me this:



Emmm....speechless....k cuba cari yang mana satu reena??

readmore »»

Busy

Sedihlah...busy nye...tak sempat lagi nak prepare untuk Test Mandarin Jumaat nie...ahad ada test Math pulak....bila nak prepare nie....sob...sob...

Tis week kat office busy gila...camne nie...dah gaban tahap dewa nie...Mandarin ok lagi...Math tu...dah lah selalu ponteng class.

Tapi belajar awal2x cam tak boleh pulak....emmmmm (T_T,,)

readmore »»

CD Shooting..

Hari nie kena jumpa dengan syafa kat Petronas seksyek 7...nak shooting kat seksyen 6 tapi tak tau nak pegi...takut sesat punye pasal kena lah tunggu kat situ...sebab reena nie bab menyesatkan diri mmg hebat...nanti nak pergi seksyen 6 di buatnye sampai Ampang...habis lah camtu...

Tunggu punye tunggu syafa pun sampai dalam kul 10.30am...kita pun gerak ke arah yg di tuju....kena siap cepat nie, sebab 1 of group member ada test pukul 2:30pm...sampai kat tempat yang di tuju...shooting pun bermula....nasib baik ada 2 orang adik group member tolong jadi camerawomen...thanks ye adik2x

Rupanye susah gila nie nak jadik artis ....berpeluh-peluh jugak lah nak siapkan..akhirnye pengambaran terpaksa di hentikan...memberi laluan untuk group member pergi test dulu...kita cadang nak sambung balik kul 5pm...sian adik dia yang seorang pegang camera sampai nak pitam...petang nanti cam mane nie sapa nak ganti pegang camera...

Ada idea....bawak hubby terchenta suruh pegang kan camera ok tak?

Pukul 1pm balik rumah dulu...tapi sedihnya tak dapat hubby tak dapat sebab malam tu ada orang janji nak tengok keta...

Emm takpe lah...

Pukul 5pm pengambaran bersambung sampai ke pukul 7.30pm, alhamdulilah semuanya berjalan lancar dan cd dapat di siap kan :)

readmore »»

Final Presentation

emm....last week (cerita dah basi) final thesis presentation...everything ok...takde apa-apa yang tak sepatutnya berlaku...borring jugak kena tunggu sampai pukul 11:00am, tapi takpe everything is over...

Lepas habis je presentation, terus call group member untuk group dialog..sebab esoknye nak jadi artis (cehwah....)...siap kan sampai pukul 4pm...lapar sangat tak sempat nak lunch...siap je cepat2x balik...sian my kids tunggu kat rumah..

Balik je tengok Irfan jap....borak2x my hubby...emm letih nya ngantok yang amat...mandi terus tidur sampai magrib (ambik kau...)

Malam tu keluar ajak anak2x dinner kat Chicken Rice Shop..(Farid punye favorite nie..)...malam nie tak boleh tidur awal...packing barang customer...reply order....and paling penting kena siap kan dialog...

Boring nya...hubby & anak-anak dah tido punye reena masih bersengkang mata siapkan dialog...sebab kena email malam tu jugak...akhirnye 1am done...horay!!!!!!!!!! email kat group member...

Terus tido...sebab esok nya nak jadi artis nie...kena jaga penampilan sikit...ewah...gesture mesti mantap...cakap kena clear...apa lagi??? ape2x lah ye...:)

readmore »»